Day 12 Maid, Mother or Moneymaker?
What do you do?
It’s an innocent question. When we are getting to know somebody, we often ask it. But are we ashamed by our answer? We shouldn’t be! But sometimes our answers give us guilt.
I’m a registered nurse and nursing school was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. But currently, I’m a stay at home mom. Sure, I plan to work again in the future, probably only part time or per diem while my kids are young, and I will work more when all my kids are in school. Thankfully, God put me on the correct career path to be able to do this. But sometimes, I feel bad that I am a stay at home mom with a 4 year degree that I’m not using. Sure I plan to use it. But I’m not using it right now. But in my eyes, that doesn’t make me not a nurse. Just as Mommies who work may feel guilty for not staying home, sometimes mommies who stay at home can feel bad too. I’ve been both the working mom and the stay at home mom. I know what both feel like. And I don’t feel like there should be this big “mommy war” with SAHM vs Working Mom, because we are both doing what we feel is best for us and our family.
There is nothing wrong with any of these, but do we judge others and ourselves by how far we’ve moved up the career ladder?
When people ask me what I do, I say “I’m a nurse. But I am currently staying home with my little boy!”
I had a young college girl ask me a couple months ago, “so what do you do as a stay at home mom? Just hang out all day?” Oh girl, that is not what us SAHMs do. There is so much out there on the blogosphere about working moms vs. SAHMs. And I don’t really feel the need to defend what I do, because both the working moms and the SAHMs are the same in my eyes. We both take care of our families, clean house, pay bills, take children to activities, participate in activities, make plans, cook etc… What we do in our career does not define us and we shouldn’t judge each other for what we choose to do, whether its work or stay at home.
I do miss my job. I love being a nurse and caring for others. But I am also VERY blessed to be able to stay home with my family. And I fully believe it was God’s plan for me. It has allowed me to be a part of different church activities that only happen during the day (like vbs, pre-school outings, bible studies). It has helped me grow some very close friendships with other mommies and God KNEW I needed that, since I don’t have any family close by. It has allowed me to blog which has kept me accountable to so many things. It has allowed me to visit my family every 6-8 weeks for the past 6 years, making 900 miles not seem that bad. It has allowed me to create a sanctuary type environment for my husband when he gets home from work, and I find a lot of satisfaction in being able to provide that for him.
There is no need for this mommy war. We are both mothers. We are both raising children. We are both doing our best.
Whether you are a working mom or a SAHM, you should find comfort that God has you exactly where He wants you.
Are you a SAHM or a working mom? Do you ever feel “the guilt?”
This is a blog series: Exploring Identity! If you missed any of the others posts, here they are!
Day 1- Known
Day 2- What is Identity?
Day 3- You are God’s Masterpiece
Day 4- Are you hiding?
Day 5- God doesn’t make Mistakes
Day 6- Mankind makes a Mess
Day 7- Turning Heads
Day 8- Getting the Idea?
Day 9- What Jesus Knew
Day 10- Beauty
Day 11- Relationships