I love this little guy. I mean, like, with all my heart and soul and being.
But as he’s grown into toddler hood, there are times he makes me want to hide, or scream, or disappear.
Like last Sunday when we were on our 850 mile roadtrip back to Texas.
You may have heard of this book. And you may be wondering why it has anything to do with this post. Allow me to explain.
To begin, you must know E has a new fascination with potties and pee and poop. Potty training is not to far away.
Our road trip from St Louis to Texas is about a 14 hour drive, so at some point, everyone in the car is going to need to make a #2 potty stop. And well, about halfway through our trip, it was my turn (tmi, right? Just wait til you hear the whole story). We pull into a Love’s gas station, and I take E with me into the bathroom. I am not exactly sure why I didn’t send him with his dad, but looking back, I wish I would have.
I go into the potty, take a seat and hand E my phone to play with so he will be quiet. I hear more people trickling into the bathroom and all the sudden, E looks at me and quietly says “Mommy poop.” Now, something else you must know about my son. When he gets something on his mind, he will repeat it like a broken record until you acknowledge what he is saying. So I quietly agree with him, “yes, Mommy poops. Just like you. Everybody poops.”
Unfortunately, the acknowledgement of this statement did not suffice to stop his broken record….
Eli- Mommy pooping! Mommy, poop in there!
Mommy- Yes, Eli! There is poop in there! Now shhh…
The door opens and I hear more people trickling in.
Eli- Mommy pooping! Mommy pooping! MOMMY POOOOOOOOPING!
I start to hear giggling in the bathroom. Certainly, they aren’t laughing at Eli. Maybe somebody said something funny out there that I missed.
Eli- MOMMY, POOP IN THERE! POOOOOP IN THERE! MOMMY POOPING!
More laughter. The people in the bathroom are dying and I realize it is in fact because they can hear Eli. And I’m thinking that I am officially stuck in this bathroom forever, because I obviously can never come out of this small bathroom stall. All the while, E continues to chant “MOMMY POOP!”
I have two options: cry or laugh. I start to laugh. And I start laughing hard, like the kind of hard laughter that you have to fight to get air. And I am laughing so hard my mascara is running and I squeak out a “ELI BE QUIET!” which makes the whole bathroom erupt in laughter.
Coming to terms that I can’t create a new permenant residence in the Love’s gas station bathroom, I exit the stall, only to find that the bathroom is not only completely full, but that the door to the bathroom is OPEN and WAS OPEN during this whole scenario, with a line of about 20 college girls that must have just come from a sporting event. Really? I mean, REALLY????
As I am washing my hands, everyone tells me “HE’S SOOOOO CUTE!!!!”
My response: He’d be cuter if this wasn’t happening to me!!! Ok, you are right. He is really cute…even if he just announced to a gas station full of college girls that Mommy pooped. *another eruption of laughter*
So I make my exit, only to walk past the long line of girls, who now know exactly what I was doing in the bathroom.
Hey girls, everybody poops… and one day, you just may be the mother of a toddler too and get to experience such embarrassment.
Ah yes, the joys of being a mother of a toddler. This wasn’t the first time E tried to embarrass me with poop. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. I might as well get used to it.
What’s the most embarrassing moment that you have experienced with your children? Oh please, share! It might make me feel a little better 😉