Two months ago, I was preparing to move. Preparing to move away from the place I called home the last 7 years; the place my husband and I got our first house; the place I had my first baby; the place that we found a church that was a true church family; the place where our friends are family.
Although I was so excited for this new adventure of moving to a new state for my husband’s new job, my heart ached. It hurt for what I was leaving behind. Sure, I couldn’t wait to get the new house and start decorating. I couldn’t wait for my husband, who has worked so hard for that phd, to finally get to begin the career he has been waiting for. I was excited. But I was so sad too. I had to leave those 7 years behind.
My best friend called and asked me to meet her for coffee. We always do spontaneous things together like that. I was feeling the stress of moving and needed the getaway. She’s the kind of friend that knows me. Like, I don’t have to even say anything and she knows what’s going through my mind! She knew my heart was aching and hers was too. When we got home, I was sitting in the car and I just began to weep. My heart hurt to leave my best friend behind! We are like sisters and our children are like cousins. We do life together ALL THE TIME, especially cuz she only lived 2 doors down! Knowing that I was about to leave that behind just broke my heart into a million pieces.
As I cried, I prayed “God, please help me get through this. I’ve done this before when I moved from Missouri to Texas and left my family. It was hard and it hurt, but we made it work. Please help me get through this again. Help to heal this heartache. I am excited for your plan and what you have in store. You have made it very obvious that this is your plan for us. But please help me with this heartache!”
Still crying, I got my toddler out of the car and we went inside. I laid on the couch and tried to dry my eyes. Eli climbed up on the couch with me and hugged me.
Eli: Mommy, why are you so sad?
Mommy: Well, I am excited for our new house and daddy’s new job, but it makes mommy sad to leave our church, our friends and Aunt Nee. When we move to our new house, we will be up a big mountain. Your friends won’t be just down the street. They will be all the way down the mountain, and we will have to drive to see them like we do Mawmaw and Papa.
Eli: Ohh. That’s okay. We will just drive down the mountain then.
Mommy: Yes, we will. But it takes a long time to drive down the mountain to their house now. Mommy will just miss our church and our friends. That’s why I am sad.
Eli: Mommy, you need to do what Daniel Tiger says. When something seems bad, turn it around. Find something good.
Mommy: *more tears!* You are so right. *more tears!*
Eli: Well, Mommy. Find something good then. Tell me something good.
Mommy: Oh Eli, we will find new friends. We will find a new church. And we will still get to see our friends. You are right. Thank you for making mommy feel so much better.
It was one of those conversations where I was in shock of my three year old’s wisdom. It was one of those conversations where I felt God’s presence as my toddler spoke. 5 minutes earlier, I had been praying in the car that God would get me through this, and He answered my prayer. I knew at that moment that it would all be okay. It would be hard, but it would be okay.
Pulling out of my driveway for the last time, leaving my best friend and her family in the rear view mirror, was heart wrenching. But God has blessed us since we got here to our new house in the mountains. We have the friendliest neighbors who threw a block party so we could get to know everyone. We have found a church that is pretty amazing and have already plugged into a life group and put our kiddo into Awana. We have fallen in love with the town and the mountains.
A couple weeks ago, my doorbell rang. I opened the door, stared in disbelief and then cried. My best friend and her girls, staying true to our spontaneous nature, showed up on my doorstep completely unexpected! I felt like I won the lottery! I embraced her and those girls and just cried my eyes out! I was so overjoyed to see them! Words cannot describe how loved I felt!
Eli was right. When I felt like my heart couldn’t handle the hurt, I needed to find something good in my difficult situation. Sometimes it is hard to see the good when the hurt is so bad.
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Often times, he uses our children to speak to us. The question is: Are you listening?