A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my mom, where I was explaining to her how inadequate I feel in so many parts of my life. And of course, in her motherly wisdom, she gave me the encouragement I needed 🙂 I want to share with you what I shared with her.
I may have overcome my negative body image issues (mostly- I still struggle sometimes), but over the past 6 months, there has been a new battle. And after that talk with my mom, I have been praying and trying to figure out how to win this battle.
You see, there are days where I feel like I can’t keep up with anything. I can’t keep up with laundry. I can’t keep up with the dishes. I can’t keep up with the housework. I hate clutter. To me, when there is chaos in my house, there is chaos in my heart. I’m a perfectionist, and my standards of a clean and a clutter free house are pretty high. There may be a pile of stuff to go through on the table, an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, laundry to be done, and toys scattered everywhere, and Ahh! Chaos. I think I need to take a chill pill. Ahem…I’ve made some progress though- I see scattered toys as a blessing! I wish I could see the rest of my home that way though!
Then there are days where I write on my blog and I’m not sure if a single person is reading it! I’m sure there is, but apparently something that every blogger goes through is: self blogger doubt. Is what I am writing helping anyone? Is it speaking to anyone? Will my blog ever be big enough to impact others? Encourage others?
There are days I still look in the mirror and stinkin’ thinkin’ tries to creep its way back in. I haven’t worked out in 3 weeks. The old me would be beating myself up right now. The old me keeps trying to beat me up, but I know how ugly my world got when I let that consume me, and I certainly don’t want to go back there. When I work out, I do feel better about myself. It’s time to lace up the running shoes and hit the pavement again.
And then there are days I feel completely talentless. What is my gift? Do I have a gift? If I do, why do I feel like I haven’t found it yet?
Oh, and there are days I wish I would put more into my marriage. My marriage is wonderful and amazing. I have been so blessed with my soul mate. But I desire to be a better wife, a patient wife, a more loving wife. I know there is more God has in store for me in my role as a wife and I have just the book/blog to share with you (in the upcoming weeks) that will help in this area of my life.
And then there are days I wonder if I am doing anything right as I try to teach and mold our little boy. Parenting is fun, joyful, and the most fulfilling experience, but parenting is also hard and scary. There are so many influences of the world that I want to protect him from and I want so badly for him to grow to know Christ. I just pray everyday that God will guide us in the right way to raise our children.
and that’s ok.
This challenge couldn’t come at a better time. I need this. God knew I needed this. Do you need this? Join me! Just click on the 31 days link above and sign up for the challenge! You don’t have to be a blogger to join in. I received the first email today and let me tell you, its already working in my heart (hence this blogpost!)
Some people pick out a word that will define their new year’s goals and resolutions. I have picked mine. And mine is:
2013 will be the year I regain my confidence in many aspects of my life. I will embrace my imperfections. I will work to better those areas of my life with God’s help. I will go into it not with a perfectionist’s attitude, but with the realization that I am an imperfect person. There is only One who is Perfect.
On Thursday, I will share with you the hubby’s chosen word of the year that reflects his goals and resolutions, as well as each of our measurable goals that will help us make these words define our 2013.
Will you be joining me in the No More Perfect Moms Challenge? And what’s your word for 2013?