If I allow my brain to park in a place of dissatisfaction about my body, it gives Satan room to strip me of motivation by whispering “Your body is never going to look the way you want it to look, so why sacrifice so much? Everyone eventually falls apart. Your discipline is in vain.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: going on a weight loss journey is far more than just physical appearance and the exercise. It is a spiritual battle. Last year, I said to myself over and over “nothing is ever going to change. You are always going to look this way. You will never be satisfied with your body. So why try?” Harsh words, but words I spoke to myself. Satan definitely was doing a number on me and to this day, I regret letting him do that. It was so easy to just give up and agree with him, but that led to living in a world of defeat. And that just straight up wasn’t a pleasant place to be.
6 months ago, I decided to actually fight back. I asked God to give me the strength to overcome negative body image, to teach me to love the body He gave me and to help me fight off those terrible things I would think about myself. As women, it is so easy to find our imperfections and dwell on them. But as Lysa (the author) says, “these are shallow concerns.” I realize that now.
I’ve learned through God’s Word that the body He gave me is good. It’s not perfect, nor will it ever be on this side of eternity. But my body is a gift, a good gift for which I can be thankful.
Although my tummy looks like I got mauled by a tiger, I no longer loathe those stretch marks. Those stretch marks are a sweet reminder that God gave me the gift to carry a child.
Although I have a scar from my c-section, I no longer see my body as a failure. I see it as a reminder that God has entrusted me with a healthy baby, who has turned into a healthy (and very busy) toddler.
Although I long to have a tone and tight athletic body, I know and understand that my body will never be perfect on this side of eternity.
I am trying to find my beautiful. And my standards of beautiful no longer contain the word “perfect.” I am no longer striving for “perfect” because perfect is an unattainable goal. There is only One who is Perfect.
Spiritually, my beautiful is my relationship with Him. And that is the only beautiful that truly matters.
Physically, my beautiful is to BE healthy, not “skinny. I want to take care of the gift that God gave me. He has given me a body capable of exercise. Recently, I have discovered that He has given me a body capable of running. Last year, if you asked me to run 1 mile, I would have said “there is no way! I couldn’t even run 1/2 a mile!” and yesterday, I ran 4 miles. And now I am training for a 1/2 marathon. God gave me a gift with this body, even with its imperfections. And I am thankful for that. So so very thankful!
I’ve found my beautiful. And I like my beautiful. I don’t have to hold my beautiful up to other people’s bodies with a critical eye of judgement.
How could I go from hating my body 1 year ago, to loving my body with flaws now?
Because I found my beautiful in Him.
Because He showed me that my body is a gift to be thankful for, flaws and all.
And that most importantly, I am His beautiful.