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Beauty by the Book- The Captivating Woman

I would like to think I am captivating my husband in that photo.  In fact, I am captivating him at Ponte Vecchio in Venice, Italy in the rain.  That’s a great place to do some captivating!

This week I want to discuss the Captivating Woman.  She is a major biblical beauty as she is the woman that meets the husband’s needs for physical touch (both sexual and non-sexual) and any husband will tell you that he sure can’t get enough of the captivating woman!! (My husband just nodded to me as I read him that last sentence!)

The Captivating Woman

Yes, I will be talking about sex.  It seems that talking about sex is sort of taboo, and yes, I am a little nervous to blog about it.  But there is alot to be learned about the spiritual aspect of sex!

The captivating woman is sensual, sexual and even seductive!

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you,

Rejoice in the wife of your youth.

She is a loving doe, a graceful deer.

Let her breasts satisfy you always.

May you always be captivated by her love.

Proverbs 5:18-19

A little bit of a steamy passage, huh?  In Hewbrew, the word “loving” in vs 19 translates to very desirable and passionate lover.  The word love refers to a powerful and intimate love between a husband and wife. Another important phrase, graceful deer, “reveals that the captivating woman accepts her husband and gives him preference above every other earthly relationship.”  We are to accept our husbands, and stop focusing on the things we wish we could change about them.  The final word, captivating, means to “intoxicate with love.”

We also learn in book of Solomon that the captivating woman is responsive (Song of S 4:16); she is adventurous (Song of S 7:11-13); she is uninhibited (Song of S 2:6, 4:16, 7:1-3), expressive (Song of S 1:16, 2:3) and she is sensuous (Song of S 5: 10-16).

My husband and I recently finished reading The Act of Marriage: The beauty of Sexual Love.  It is an awesome biblical based book about sex between husband and wife.  After we read a chapter, we discussed it.  It is so  important to talk about sex with your spouse and to understand their feelings about it.

This book is wonderful because it looks at what sex means to each spouse.

Sex to a Man

Sex satisfies his sex drive.
It fulfills his manhood.
It enhances a man’s love for his wife.
It reduces friction in the home.
It fulfills life’s most fulfilling experience.

Sex to a Woman

Sex fulfills her womanhood.
It reassures her that he loves her.
It satisfies her sex drive.
It relaxes her nervous system.
It fulfills the ultimate experience of oneness.

These points are extremely elaborated upon in the book.  I strongly suggest this book to any married couple!  It is life changing 😉

In the bible study video, Laurie teaches us the ABC’s of being the Captivating Woman.  So let’s take a look!

ANTICIPATION

When you read Song of Songs 1, you see so much anticipation in both of the lovers.   They just can’t wait to be together!  We need to put ourselves in that mind frame: always anticipating that beautiful time together.

BEAUTIFICATION

If you read Song of Songs, you can see that the two lovers use all 5 senses to experience sensual love.  Sex doesn’t always start in the bedroom!

SIGHT- Dress nice (not in your old most comfy sweats-so GUILTY here!) so that when he arrives home, he sees the effort you put into looking nice for him.  Wear something sexy for the bedroom.  As Laurie says, there may be a financial budget for everything…except lingerie.

TOUCH- This doesn’t have to be sexual.  We recently read The Five Love Languages, and I discovered my husband’s love language is touch.  He feels loved and adored when I just randomly give him a little back scratch, a hand on the thigh or holding hands, a sweet kiss, cuddling up close on the couch…all these things make a man feel loved and respected.  Of course, the touch that happens in the bedroom means so much to a man.  One extremely important thing I have learned from The Act of Marriage is that if a woman fails to meet her husband’s sexual needs, she fails to admire and respect him (in his eyes).  It is THAT important to a man, and it’s not his fault.  That is the way God designed him, just like He designed sex to fulfill a woman emotionally.

HEARING- Words of Affirmation.  Loving words. Kind words.  Romantic words. A husband likes to hear that he is doing a good job!

SMELL:  Seems kind of odd to captivate with smell.  But think about your husband’s favorite fragrance…wear it often!  Cook something that makes the house smell wonderful!  In the bedroom, set up some scented candles.  Wouldn’t that be romantic!?

TASTE:  Good hygiene is a pretty good thing to start off with. Did you brush your teeth today?! No one wants to kiss a mouthful of grossness!

COMMUNICATION

How do you communicate with your husband?  Is it respectfully?  Respect is conveyed in your words and your tone. If you haven’t read Love and Respect, then you really must.  My husband and I are reading it for the second time and doing the study guide with it.  It’s intense and deep, but it has blessed our marriage tremendously.  In fact, we always give it as a wedding gift!

CELEBRATION

Celebrate your togetherness! Have date night once a week!  Get away together!  This is something that we always try to do- we schedule time together.  This may mean going out to dinner, or cuddling up on the couch after the kids are in bed or playing a board game together.  Intentional time together.  It is so important to make time for each other.

CONSUMMATION

This is obvious the most captivating of them all! 😉  Consummation is a RESULT of anticipating, beautifying, communicating and celebrating.

Being the captivating woman is all about making your man fall for you.  Intoxicate him with your love.  Captivating your husband will build his confidence in other areas of his life.  It will reassure him of your love.  Do that by making him feel admired and respected.  You can make him feel respected through your words, your actions, your tone of voice, and yes, through sex.

God created sex to be a blessing!

So for those of you that are not married, put these thoughts in the back of your mind for when you do one day find that perfect someone.  And for those of you that are married, go captivate your husband…

but please don’t tell us about it in the comments 😉

Let’s talk !!  Do you talk to your spouse about sex?  

To study this topic further, check out Laurie Cole’s bible study Beauty by the Book. (It’s amazing and life changing!)

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