“Get your shoes on, please.” I say to my oldest son, as I grab the diaper bag, my purse, the swim bag and the baby, only to find out that the baby has blown out of her diaper…again. I tend to that mess and gather up my items again and tell my son “come on, we are leaving!” Only to hear him say “mom, you forgot about my shoes.” I forgot about your shoes? You are five! I told you 5 minutes ago to put your shoes on! When I tell him to look for his shoes, he looks at the ceiling as if they may magically be floating up there somewhere.
Why is that the only time children can actually find anything is during an Easter egg hunt? Any other day of the year, they lose this capability…
I feel my frustration rising. We are going to be late to this appointment…again. I’m sure that this person is judging me as a human being because I can never be on time. Now my frustration has turned into anger. We are in the car and driving and my son won’t stop asking question after question after question.
“Just stop talking! Mommy needs some silence!” I say. “Til when?” He asks. “Til I say…” *snarl*
I’m about to lose it.
To often, I find myself in the situation where the situation itself isn’t a big deal.
The big deal is where my heart is at in that moment.
What do you do when you feel your frustration turning into anger toward your children?
How do you make your heart change in that moment so you can be the example that Christ calls you to be to those little gifts that He gave you?
How to change your heart in a moment of mom anger
Stop and take a moment- I tell my children “Mommy needs a moment.” I will actually walk away so that I don’t lash out with words that I won’t be able to take back. I have to physically take myself away from the situation sometimes. I am a strong believer in the power of words, and I want to avoid a situation where words are said that I will regret.
Pray- As soon as I walk away, I begin to pray. I ask God to give me the words to deal with the situation, no matter how big or how small it may be. It may be as simple act of disobedience or something on a much bigger scale. Regardless of the situation, I ask God to guide me in how to deal with it and to give me the right words that my child will understand.
Deal with the situation as if Christ is sitting beside you – As I talk my child through whatever offense he committed (that is most often what brings me to this moment of mom anger), I keep in mind that Christ is beside me. He never leaves my side on this epic journey of parenting. This really changes the way I think about the situation as I handle it. The words that I use. The emotions on my face. My body language. The tone of my voice. It all changes when I think about Christ sitting right there with me in that situation. The next time you are dealing with mom anger, just think about this one. It will blow your mind. It changes everything.
Apologize- There are times that mom anger is going to take over and you are going to say things or do thing you wish you hadn’t. We are human and we are broken. When this happens, humble yourself and ask your child for forgiveness. Not only are you freeing yourself of a great deal of guilt, but you are also setting an example for your child that you are not perfect either and that even mom can mess up. We need forgiveness too.
Show yourself grace- Just as you must humble yourself to apologize, you must show yourself grace. We are going to mess up. We cannot escape anger. It is a human emotion that isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. God knows that we are going to mess up. He offers us abundant grace! When you mess up, ask for His forgiveness. He doesn’t want you to hold on to the mom guilt. He wants you to release it to Him and get back to being the mom He designed you to be.
So you struggle with anger. We all do. But you are still a good mom! You just have to hang in there and establish some strategies to deal with it.
I am excited to tell you that my friend Alicia Michelle from Your Vibrant Family has released a 7 day online course 7 Days to a Less Angry Mom. Alicia is an amazing christian mentor! I have taken other courses of hers and God has blessed her with insight and wisdom that will bless your soul.
This course contains 7 video classes (each class is between 10-18 minutes long) so even if you have children at home, you can sit down and quickly knock out a lesson or sit back with some coffee during naptime…or you can hide in a closet. I’ve never done that one before…ahem…
It has 7 homework packets with over 50 printable pages including note-taking pages, prompts to help you dive deeper into developing strategies to deal with mom anger, and my favorite-the 31 day Scripture Journey to motivate and encourage you to conquer mom anger!
Will you join me on this journey? The 7 Days to a Less Angry Mom course is open now! When you purchase this course, you will get access to a private facebook page for encouragement and accountability too!
The struggle is real, mommas. Let’s get through this together.
*Affiliate links included- Thanks for supporting Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes!**
Oh friend, I can absolutely relate to that scenario you shared! I love the advice you shared, and will definitely use it when the need arises… and oh it will. 🙂
The course sounds amazing. Will share this on my page and pin too.
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