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"Even the Sparrow Knows:
Trusting your Savior with a Troubled Heart"

{Exploring Identity} Who’s in Control?

Day 14 Who’s in control?

One big identity struggle for women is in the area of control.  It’s important for us to look as if we’re coping.

We all struggle with wanting to be in control of every aspect of our lives. I know I do.  I believe one of the biggest reasons I worry “about our future” is because I want control!  Once I know where we are moving to, I can begin to plan our future, because once again I will feel like I am in control.

Worry and control are tied closely together.  When we worry, we say to God: “I don’t believe you when you say you are in control.”  Our desire for control is a blatant refusal to trust God.

A couple days ago, I had a dream.  Now bear with me, it’s kind of crazy, but it really was a Godsend because it helped change my defeated mentality that I have had lately.  In this dream, I was talking to my parents via instant messenger/webcam on the computer and I received a text from Jesus.  Yes, it showed his name on my phone, as if I had Jesus’ contact info in my phone (how cool is that?)  In his text, Jesus told me that I had to come with him and go home to Heaven.  I quickly told my parents (who I was still talking to on the computer) that Jesus was calling me home.  I told them goodbye and was quickly going to tell my husband and my son goodbye.  But then Jesus appeared.  He told me I must come with him now.  I was in awe being in His presence.  Yet I begged him to let me tell my husband and son goodbye.  He gently yet sternly told me that I could not and that I must come with Him.  I began to weep because I couldn’t kiss my husband one last time and tell him how much I love him and I couldn’t hold my sweet baby one more time, knowing that he would grow up without a mom.  But Jesus instructions were clear.  So I followed him, weeping the entire way.

I woke up, crying.  I was crying in my dream and was physically crying when I woke up.  After checking on both my husband and son (who were sleeping soundly), I sat in my living room and prayed for those I love.

This dream made me realize that I don’t know when my final moments will be.  Do I want my final moments to be of me living in discontent because I wanted complete control?  No!

God is our Creator and Maker; he knows each of us intimately.  There can be no one better to give control of our lives to.

I knew it all along, but sometimes something has to happen to make it sink in and sometimes that’s a dream.  I don’t know if it was God who gave me the dream, but I do know it has changed my outlook on my future.  I give the control of my life to Him.

How deluded are we- and how wrong- to dare imagine we are better qualified to run our lives!!

I admit that I need to give up that control! I was cleaning my kitchen when this song came on the radio, and it just happened to be a song we sang in our spring musical.  This song had been on my heart.  I decided I needed a daily reminder, so while listening to this song…

I made out a reminder that is placed in my kitchen so I will see it every day.


So chill out sister! Your identity is not found in how much control you have in any situation.  You cannot assume ultimate control: that is God’s place and God’s right, and we can rest assured that he knows whats best!



This is a blog series: Exploring Identity!  If you missed any of the others posts, here they are!

Day 1- Known

Day 2- What is Identity?

Day 3- You are God’s Masterpiece

Day 4- Are you hiding?

Day 5- God doesn’t make Mistakes

Day 6- Mankind makes a Mess

Day 7- Turning Heads

Day 8- Getting the Idea?

Day 9- What Jesus Knew

Day 10- Beauty

Day 11- Relationships

Day 12- Maid, Mother or Moneymaker?

Day 13-  Anxiety Girl! DUH DUH DUH!

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