As much as I want to say I am all sunshine and lollipops, the truth is:
I iz down in da dumps…
The past month has been a little rough on this household and I need to vent.
7 reasons I iz down in da dumps…
1) Dr. Hubs is halfway through teaching Summer 1. He has 2 weeks left and was hoping he wouldn’t have to teach Summer 2 so that he could really work hard on his dissertation, but it looks as though he has to. When he signed up to teach this summer, he had no idea how time consuming teaching summer classes was going to be. The class is only 2 hours long, but the preparation, and the grading, and the office hours and insane number of emails coming from his students…he is one super busy guy! We are thankful for the opportunity though because this is certainly giving him a chance to grow in his soon to be profession. Why does that put me in the dumps though? I miss my husband. I’m still feeling like a phd widow. I know it will pass, and it will eventually get better, especially after he gets his career settled. But I miss him right now…alot 🙁 And he misses me. A husband and wife need time to spend with each other, to talk, to dream, to plan, to just be. And with work, and a toddler, and household duties, etc, it’s been hard to find lately. We are currently working on a plan to fix this. We have a devotional called Nightlight that we have started up. We also are focusing on praying together more often. Now we just need to find some time to just be together- to play a game, to sit outside and visit over a glass of wine, to dream about our future…just time to be together!
2) I am literally going loco. I am content in my life, but I just might be going crazy! I seriously feel like all I do is laundry, dishes, vacuum, sweep and pick up toys. Every.day. And with Dr Hubs having to work so much, I pretty much run the household on my own, and I don’t mind doing it, but it is exhausting! I love being a stay at home mom, truly. Being a mom is the MOST AMAZING, rewarding, exciting adventure of my life. And I am so blessed that God entrusted me and Cory with Little E. But without Mothers Day Out to break up my week, summer is making me loco. Thankfully, our church offers alot of different children’s activities that we get to participate in. And we also have some really great friends to play with. But I need to come up with a way to structure my days of the week, so that I do not feel like I am living in a loophole. I need structure. I need plans. I need to-do lists with projects. I was telling my mom about this this morning and she tells me what I am feeling is very normal. Most moms feel this way at some point and that I will work through it and come up with something that works for me. I am really looking forward to Mom getting off work later today, because I told her this morning on her way to work ” I need some Mom therapy. Call me later!” Right now, I am in the process of getting these things figured out and hopefully my amazing Mom will open my eyes to something that will help me (as she always does! So thankful for my amazing mom!). But until that phonecall, I will continue going loco.
3) I still have headaches. I will be posting an update at the end of the week on my most recent chiropractic x-rays. There is a good reason for all these headaches and Dr. P assures me that it will be getting better. I really hope that comes sooner rather than later though!
4) Eli is teething. He has been one cranky little boy the past few weeks. And I would be too if I had 6 little white teeth rearing their pearly heads through my gums all at the same time. I really could do without the whole teething stage. If you have experienced a teething toddler, then you can understand. I am crazy jealous of those of you whose children popped their teeth right through the gums with no problem.
5) Summer of 7 has not gone well this past 2 weeks (which stresses me out! When is stress week again?), although I was able to tackle my small craft room and come up with 1 giant huggies box full of donations (success!) With all the crisis-i (yes, that is crisis plural in my world), a sick baby, a sick doggie, half a million appointments and just keeping up with the day to day, I have not been able to focus on clothes week and possessions week, which were 2 weeks I was really looking forward to, as I am in super purge mode. I am going to talk to Dr. Hubs and we will come up with a gameplan. Our summer of 7 schedule will be revised, as I want to revisit clothes week and possessions and we want to do this together.
6) I am about to embark on a 850 mile roadtrip with a husky and a toddler, by myself. Pray for me. Please.
7) And the biggest reason I iz down in da dumps: We lost a sweet member of our family this past week.
We are dog lovers in this household. We love big dogs and they are a huge part of our family. Our dogs travel with us; they exercise with us; they love our Little E; they are so happy to see us at any given moment of the day. I seriously don’t understand how people live without a dog. When you find the right one, they add so much love to your household. We have 2 of the sweetest, most gentle 60 lb dogs you will ever know. Cali, our husky is 3 and a crazy jokester. June (aka Junebug) was our older “little” girl. Dr Hubs has had her since his college days. She was a stray that he found back in 2000. He tried to find her home and posted signs saying he had her, but no one claimed her. So she became his. She was probably about a year old when he got her. She has moved from College Station at A&M, to Amarillo, to St Louis, to Amarillo again, to Plainview in her 12 years. She has been to the beach several times, gone hiking in the canyon and been on so many road trips that we’ve lost count. She was the sweetest, most obedient dog and she loved her people. Her love language was touch (she would literally lay right next to you with a paw on you at all times) and milk bones were her crack! 😉
On Thursday, her time came as kidney disease was claiming her sweet life. Making the choice to put your friend to sleep is a hard one, but we feel at peace about our decision as we knew it was time. She had grown weak and her body was shutting down. We never imagined 3 weeks ago when she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and kidney disease that we would lose her so quickly. We really thought we would have a few months, at least. 2 weeks ago, she was running around outside like a crazy dog, just playing and loving life. But we are thankful for the 12 years she and Cory shared and the 7 years that I also got to enjoy her companionship. And we are thankful for her sweet personality and how she loved Little E.
I will recover from da dumps. I know things will perk up and get better. Life just has its days that bring ya down sometimes. But I am not gonna let it keep me down. I am going to reset. I have some conversations to have with my mom and my husband. I’ll fill ya in on my “reset” later this week. I am thinking I may just focus on summer of 7’s “stress week” for the next few weeks 😉