Why?

Why?

It’s the topic of conversation between me and God lately.

Lord, why does it feel like life is so overwhelming right now?

Lord, why does my toddler feel the need to be so dramatic when he doesn’t get his way?

Lord, parenting is the most fulfilling, awesome, incredible, rewarding experience of my life, but why is parenting so hard sometimes!?

Lord, why, when my marriage is so wonderful, amazing and fulfilling, do we still struggle in some areas of our marriage?

Lord, even though my Grandpa’s death was such a beautiful experience, why did he have to come Home so soon?

Lord, while we are on that topic, why, since I moved to Texas 5 years ago, have I lost 2 grandfathers, a great grandmother, a step-grandmother, and a mother in law?

Lord, why do I struggle to say no to anything or anyone?

Lord, why do I fill my plate so full?

Lord, even though I have learned to be thankful for my body and love what you have gifted me, why do I still struggle with negative body image and stinkin’ thinkin’ from time to time?

Lord, I thank you for helping us be mostly debt-free, but why, when we are budgeting and trying to save money for when we eventually move, does some unexpected big expense pop up every.single.month?

Lord, why do I just feel so stressed all the time?

I know why.  Because we live in a broken world. I have been so stressed over the past few months that I have lost any feeling of peace.

Be still and know that I am God. –Psalm 46:10

Ok, well, I know that you are God, but I am having a hard time being still!!!

This afternoon, while cleaning house, I had the cd The Outsiders by NEEDTOBREATHE playing in the background.  I turned the vacuum off and right as I did, these lyrics were being sung.

Hey now, this is my desire. Consume me like a fire, cause I just want something beautiful to touch me.  I know that I’m in reach.  I am down on my knees and waiting for….something beautiful. 

I sat down, started the song over and listened. God speaks to me through music so often!  He revealed to me that this should be my prayer right now.  I don’t need all the why’s answered.  I just need to be still, consumed by Him, in Him, with Him, and trust that He is going to turn whatever it is I am asking why about, into something beautiful.